From August 2019 till October 2020 I had servere trouble with my belly. My belly had been mutilated by a surgeon during a umbilical hernia repair surgery he did a little extra without authorization nor medically indicated, which converted my whole life in a nightmare not visible or understandable to others.
He thought, that my belly as a five year old child was too big and cut out a piece of the fascial tissue which is now missing. You can read about my trouble to make myself heard and taken seriously and all the symptoms that come with this anatomical mutilation: www.bellyconstriction.com
I have somehow achieved, that the colon moved back in a very strange but functioning position during a walk on the Plabutsch at the 31st of October 2020. Now I am following a self invented diet, which does only consist in one rule: only eat 3 small portions a day. I have no food intolerance or allergy. The only problem I have is, that my belly has been made too small for manoeuvring the shit around.
So, now that I’m back again, I will do the things I like and some things to earn my living. The things I will do are: Gardening, Home Improvement, Cooking, graphic design, web design, logo design, print design and illustrations at www.kpdesign.at and probably some art. DJ-ing is not possible during this corona-times and the second lockdown.
I like The Lord of the Rings. I am a huge fan. I am now reading it for the second time, because I have literally read everything George RR. Martin has produced by now (except the Wildcard Series) and I always need something to read when I wake up because of my stupid belly in the middle of the night, that has the potential to distract me from the pain and capture my thoughts, that I can sleep again or have read a nice piece of good literature instead of just having laid awake with troubling or angry thinking.
I haven’t read Silmarillion yet, my memory is not so good and it is a pleasure to read LOTR again and be able to pay attention to all the details, that made no sense at the first read.
I know that The LOTR has influenced and inspired the creation of Art especially music. I will write about other bands and music someday.
There is one special Austrian band, that has dedicated almost there entire oeuvre to themes from The Lord of the Rings. The band is called Summoning.
Give it a try! I am just doing this right now. – I will tell you later, if it was worth it.
It is always difficult to manage the small belly-volume the surgeon has left me with, because he misdiagnosed a belly wall weakness and “repaired” it although he was only supposed to repair the little umbilical hernia when I was 5 years old. You may read here about my mutilated constricted belly.
I will not try another time to work employed at a job, where I have to sit for hours and need a functioning digestion. The digestion just doesn’t work when I sit. And the bad thing is, when I force myself to do so, my eyes get inflamed and I risk another bowelswitch, which is the most hurtful and cruelest thing I ever have experienced (4 times) in my life and it lasts at least half a year, till it feels and works kind of normal again.
At the end of August 2020 my belly has been investigated (laparoscopic investigation). All the organs are healthy and there is no such thing as a fold of the transversalis fascia reaching into the abdominal cave, as I described it and felt it.
What still is there are the symptoms, that my whole belly feels constricted and that the belly is factual too small for normal daily eating without getting massive problems e.g. pressure on the bladder or diaphragm or on the veins, that my blood pressure rises unnaturally.
I have been sent home from the hospital and was very disappointed at first. But at least I have the information, that all the organs are healthy. So even when it hurts every day, I can always just stop eating or wait till I piss or shit and the symptoms will vanish.
I am retreating now and wait, before I will take my next steps in this case.
In the meantime I am eating only every other day something for lunch and dinner. Acting so I can minimize the problems, the symptoms and the volume of food/shit in the belly. In the days in between I only drink or eat soups. For breakfast I only drink coffee and eat nothing everyday.
I will not work employed as Architect ever again.
I tried but my belly is not made (by this surgeon) for sitting and I get massive problems. Therefore I will do gardening, cooking, DJ-ing and work self employed as Graphic Designer at www.kpdesign.at and maybe travel a bit and do things I never did because of my stupid aching belly like buying a motorbike and going on holidays with people that accept, when I need to piss very often or take much time on the toilet. In the car I take a urinal bottle with me. I am too old to be ashamed of Problems this fucking surgeon should be ashamed of that made me suffer may whole life since childhood.
I am asked frequently to play Old School HipHop from the late 80ies. This was the time, when I moved from the country into the “big” town Graz. And I am still connected to this kind of music, that you don’t get from Spotify and that is never played. Especially when you would need it to comfort your soul in something like home.
When I moved to Graz from the country in 1986 it was like hundreds of options would open up and everything would be possible and I could leave the old Konrad behind and start a new life, with the friends and people I would choose freely and not people who were chosen for me like classmates.
Later I had to realise, that some problems always come with you, no matter where you run, travel or go to or which people you choose to be around, but not in 1986.
In 1986 everything was new and exciting and that is why old school hip hop is the soundtrack of revolution and freedom and excitement, that school is over and that from now on, I will live as I want to.
this is just a test. Looks promissing. There also is a family-plan like spotify and I can dj with it.